5 Weeks!

Um, okay. I know I look about 3 months pregnant already in these photos. Mr. C. kept asking me if I was pushing my stomach out. Sadly enough, I was sucking it in. I really don't look this "round" in real life. The camera adds 10 lbs. they say. That's gonna be my excuse.

I went to acupuncture today for the first time since my ET. It was exciting to tell my acupuncturist (or "Hole Puncher" as Mr. C. calls him) about my pregnancy. I thanked him for helping me get this way! I guess it's a little weird that several men helped me get pregnant. Only us IF girls can claim that! I will continue going once a week during the first trimester. He uses points that help increase blood flow and retain the pregnancy.

This Proves 3 Things

1. I am obsessive....why am I still peeing on a stick?

2. I'm still pregnant....the pregnant line is MUCH darker than the control line! Heehee!

3. Mr. C. is a dork...after I showed this pee stick to him he wrote "sex 2 nite" on the key next to the picture of 2 lines and "no sex" next to the picture of one line. What a goober. Mr. C., you know you have to wait at least 2 more weeks. Hands off!!!

I'm Pregnant

I just had to say it. It sounds so cool! Everything is about the same...I'm exhausted and my boobs hurt like crazy. The veins on my chest look like a roadmap! I'm definitely more emotional...random things make me mad or make me cry. I can't believe I have to wait until Friday for my next doctor's visit! Every day when I wake up I thank God for another day of being pregnant. Every time I go to the bathroom and there is no sign of spotting, I say a prayer of thanks! I'm trying to take this one day at a time and be happy for that day. That's not to say that I'm not EXTREMELY terrified. I keep waiting for something bad to happen. I almost can't believe that things are actually okay so far. I guess after going through all that we've been through, it's more difficult to accept that things might really work out!

My friend (the one with the new baby) came over yesterday for her first outing with the baby. She brought me a bunch of pregnancy books and magazines. It's so fun to read them and dream about what I will look like in just a few months. Wanna see what my baby looks like right now? Check it out:

My pee was right! (Beta #2)

It's 107!!!!! We are SO excited and happy! It way more than doubled, so that is fantastic news. When the nurse called, she was like, "Are you sitting down...." and I hoped that meant it was a happy thing. I just came home from work because there's no way I can concentrate and think right now. Thanks SO much for all the wonderful words of support you all have given me. It means so much that people I don't even know are interested in my story. Hopefully things will continue to go well...we don't go back for more bloodwork until next Friday. I'll keep you posted!

My pee says I'm pregnant

I'm feeling good and hopeful, thanks to all of you, great stories I've heard on The Nest "Success After IF" bulletin board, and the encouragement of my friends and family. Based on today's pee sticks, I'm thinking it'll be great news tomorrow!

Beta

It's 41. Not what we were hoping for, to say the least. The doctor wants it to be at least 50 by today. The nurse said that she's seen plenty of numbers like this turn into a healthy pregnancy, but we've heard that before. I'm extremely upset, but I guess we'll just wait till Friday and see what happens.

Beta in 12 hours!!!

Oh, I am so nervous. I'm confident that it will be positive, but I'm so scared of repeating last time. I feel like total crap and I think that's a great sign! I really feel nasty. Here are my symptoms as of today:

-completely, totally, mind-bogglingly exhausted (came home from work at lunch and just got up)
-back-achey
-a little crampy on and off
-bbs sensitive with funky bumps around nipples
-Mr. C says, "You look different....fuller." Hmmmm.
-last night we went out to eat Italian and I felt icky/nauseous all night

So, all these could be something, or they could be the progesterone. They keep getting progressively more intense, though, so I think that is good. Hopefully by lunchtime tomorrow I'll have news to share. Thank you so much to all of you for all your well wishes. It means so much to me!

7dp5dt

Well, there's really nothing to report at this point! I'm having some symptoms that could definitely be good signs, but I. am. not. going. to. poas.!!!! I have to keep telling myself that over and over! I really want to, but Mr. C. and I talked about it and decided to wait until the beta (which is on Wednesday at 8:15, btw). It's only the day after tomorrow, so I think I can reign in my poas compulsions until then. But then I think, "I could have an answer after a short run to CVS!" Not going to do it.

Here's what happened during our last IVF cycle. Two days before my beta, I poas and it was positive - we were surprised and ecstatic! Same for the day before the beta. Then that night, I started spotting. I freaked out and cried and cried, but the nurse said not to worry...spotting was normal! My beta came back at 21. Pretty low, but the nurse said that there was hope, we just needed it to double in 2 days. So I go back 2 days later and it doubled exactly - 42! We we over the moon, we cried, we called my parents, I bought a pregnancy book. During all this, I was still spotting, but the nurse still said that it was fine, totally normal, etc., unless it turned red or was an AF-like flow. My 2nd beta was on a Thursday, and since it doubled, they didn't want to do another one until the following Tuesday. So...fast forward to Monday. The spotting turned bright red. The spotting became an AF-like flow. I called and demanded a beta a day early. It was 20. It was over. I got home where I immediately found out upon walking in the door that our good friends, the couple who didn't want to have children for 5 more years, had emailed to say they were 14 weeks pregnant. It was one of the worst days of my life. As much as I'd like to forget it, that day will haunt me, probably for the rest of my life.

After that amazing rollercoaster that lifted and dropped us to and from amazing heights, I do not ever want to repeat it. On Wednesday, I want a positive or negative. If the number is 50 or above, I'll breathe a sigh of relief. If it's over 100, I'll be ecstatic! Of course, then we have to worry about it doubling. But, I have hung my hopes on the number we'll get Wednesday. I've imagined a hundred times what that phone call will be like. I've prayed over and over every day that Wednesday will be a good day. Please, please, let it be.

Update

The nurse finally called me and I told her about my situation. She said she's only heard of that happening once, but she said not to worry about it. She said it's all the increased blood flow and hormones and poking and prodding that's probably causing it. The bottom line is, everything is fine and I shouldn't worry.

The Big "O"

Okay, this is weird and embarrassing, but I'm just going to throw it out there! Last night I woke up multiple times in the middle of a spontaneous orgasm. Like 4 or 5 times during the night! Not only was it uncomfortable each time (very crampy and tight feeling), I'm TERRIFIED it has somehow harmed my embryos, caused them to un-implant (don't know if that's a real term), or had some other bad effect since I'm only 4 days past transfer. I've called my RE, but as usual, they will take hours to call back. This never happens to me (sleeping OR awake, haha) so it's just weird. Especially having like 4 or 5 orgasms in one night...WTF? I can't WAIT to hear from the doctor's office. I hope they can offer me some reassurance.

3dp5dt

Well, there's not much to report! I'm feeling good and am glad to be out of the bed and in the land of living. I decided not to go to work today and maybe go into the office tomorrow for a little while. It is SO nice to have a flexible schedule! I went out to get a magazine and a F.rosty a little while ago and it was fun!

I'm feeling crampy off and on (I'll take that as a good sign!) and my bb's are a little sore. Mainly I'm just SO tired! Mr. C is like, "How can you be tired after sitting around and napping all day?" But I am! I'm taking 3 P.rometrium suppositories each day and tomorrow will start 2 estrogen patches every other day. Will keep you posted on any other happenings!

2 Totsicles!

We just got the word that two of our embies made it to freeze! Yipee! We so so thrilled with that news. I'm chillin' out in bed, reading and computering, and talking on the phone. I'm feeling good but pretty crampy. I'll take that as a good sign, though!

Transfer Complete!

What a wonderful day! We got to the RE's office around 2:30. I was SO nervous to find out if we still had embies, what they looked like, what their quality was, etc. I kept asking Mr. C, "Do you think they would have called us if none of our embryos made it?" So, as soon as the dr. walked into the conference room I was like, "How many do we have?!" Turns out we had 2 beautiful, perfect, grade A blastocysts ready to come home to my uterus! He showed us photos and pointed out the how the cells had already differentiated - some were cells that will become the placenta and some cells were going to become the baby! It was so neat and I choked up just looking at them.

So then Mr. C and I got into our biohazard-looking outfits and went into the transfer room. The acupuncturist came in and put in all the needles and I listened to my i.Pod for 20 minutes. I kept crying, just thinking about how far we've come and how sure I am that this time is going to work. In my head, I was thanking God, thanking my body, thanking the scientists, Mr. C.; everyone. Then the team came in to do the actual transfer. One day I'll be telling my child(ren), "There were 7 people in the room when I got pregnant with you!" It was fast and painless. Then the acupuncturist came back in and we did 20 more minutes of acupuncture. She said that mine was the easiest, smoothest transfer she'd ever seen. Wow! Then it was time to go! I slept for most of the 2 hour ride back home.

So we've got 4 more embryos at morula stage. If they reach blastocyst stage by tomorrow then they will get frozen. The embryologist will call tomorrow or Wednesday to let us know. I'd love it if even one makes it that far!

So, now I'm up in our room, propped up in bed, feeling good, hopeful, emotional, and tired! It's been a great day and I'm so thankful that everything went so well today.

"No sex until confirmed pregnancy."

This is what my RE's written instructions say. Ummmm, what if my beta is negative? Hahahaha!

Day 5 Transfer!!!

The embryologist called at 7am this morning to say that we have five 8-celled embryos that look great. SO, we are going to do the transfer on Monday! Yay! I am so happy about this for many reasons, but mainly because it gives me a couple more days to get my ovaries back into shape! I've always been a little leary of taking a lot of pain meds, but I discovered that taking a whole o.xycodone instead of a half works wonders! No more conservative medicine taking for me!

PAIN

Please say a prayer for me. I have been in extreme pain since last night. I talked to the dr. and she doesn't think it is ohss but rather my severely swollen ovaries pressing on my diaphram. It hurts to move at all. I have been taking pain pills and it helps a little, but I feel like I can't breathe. It's scary and is wearing me down. Please pray that this will pass.

I will find out tomorrow at 7am if the transfer will be tomorrow or Monday. I'm hoping for Monday, if nothing else but to give me a couple more days to heal.

Fertilization Report

The embriologist just called with our report - we have 9 embryos! 14 of the eggs they got yesterday were mature. They ICSIed 7 and didn't ICSI 7. Of the natural group, 5 fertilized and of the ICSI group, 4 fertilized. We are very happy with these numbers and Mr. C is thrilled that his "little guys" worked!

Last time, we also had 9 on the first day after retrieval but only had 3 by day 3. Let's hope all 9 of these little embabies keep on going! We'd LOVE to have some to freeze. That would be our dream! Grow, embies, grow!!!

By the way, I'm feeling good so far and just having the normal post-retrieval discomfort. I don't want to jinx anything, but YAY!

Also, do I have a wonderful husband, or what? His comment on my post yesterday was amazing. It made me cry. He's a good nurse and keeps the G.atorade coming! I love you, Mr. C!

Back From ER

I'm back but very woozy, so this will be short. 22 eggs!!!! Can't wait to hear the fertilization report tomorrow. Yay! Going to sleep now.

Thank You

Thank you so much to everyone who has left me such nice comments. It's so reassuring to know that there are people out there who are thinking of me and keeping me in their prayers. We are leaving for the ER tomorrow about 7:45am. (We live about 2 hours from the clinic.) I've got a nice bed set up for myself in the back of Mr. C's car and a lunch packed to eat on the way home. I'm such an organizer! I'm still feeling quite nervous, but I slept all day and am feeling rested and calmer than I was yesterday. I went to acupuncture today and he used points for calmness and for preventing ohss. He said he's only used the ohss points a few times, but they've always worked! That sounded good to me, so I'll be back on Thursday for the same treatment. If I'm not too doped up tomorrow, I'll post an update on how many eggs they retrieved. Thanks for hanging in there with me and I'll keep you posted!

Triggering Tonight

Thank you to everyone who has offered me encouragement and kind words. It means the world to me!!! I'm triggering tonight and will have the retrieval at 10:15 Wednesday morning. () I had freakout #2 when the nurse called a little while ago and said my E2 was >5000! (5315 to be exact). I asked if I could talk to my RE for a little reassurance and she called me back right away. She said that they are going to do everything they can to keep me from over stimulating. I'm supposed to start the OHSS diet now...lots of salt, protein, and g.atorade. They will be giving me something called H.etastarch in my IV on Wednesday. It's a protein liquid that supposedly helps with OHSS. And my trigger tonight will be only 75% of the normal trigger amount to keep my E2 from getting much higher. As is, she says it will probably be around 7000 on the day of retrieval. Yowza! It was nice to talk to the actual DOCTOR and it sounds like she's got my back. Even though I am still scared, I haven't come this far to give up now. I've put too much time, energy, and money (!) into this and I'm going to see it through. I trigger tonight at 11:15pm and there's no turning back!!!

FREAK OUT!

Okay, last night I had a total breakdown. All the stress of this IVF thing is getting to me. I am irrationally terrified of getting OHSS. Because I had a mild case last time and because my levels are higher this time, I am just really worried about it. We're talking waking up with panic attacks worried. Sobbing uncontrollably worried. I feel like I'm going crazy! I know the hormones have me out of whack, but this is ridiculous. I know that I need to relax and go with it, but I'm struggling. Of course I am going ahead with the trigger tonight, but I wish I could be confident in the fact that everything will be alright. I know it will be. AHHHHHH!

Today's Update

I FINALLY heard from my IVF Coordinator about this morning's monitoring appointment. I was freaking out b/c the tech this morning said that I may be ready to trigger tonight and I was getting SO nervous! It looks like the trigger will be tomorrow because I have some follies that are almost big enough, but not quite. I've already got several at 20, 19 and 18mms but there are a lot more that need one more day to catch up to those. My E2 level is 3300 and I'm staying at 225 IUs of F.ollistim tonight. I AM SO SCARED OF OHSS. My E2 level is higher and I've got more follicles cookin' than I did last time and so I'm afraid OHSS is going to come back to visit. It's the most uncool thing ever and I've got to find a way to get over this terror that I'm going to have it again. Any ideas?

Oops, I forgot to mention a little detail...MY LINING IS AT 9.4 ALREADY!!!! YIPEE!

Happy 4th! (And an update.)

Happy Independence Day! We are celebrating by going to 2 cookouts. Well, we're going to one and having one at our house. Should be fun.

IVF Update: I went for a monitoring visit this morning and my coordinator just called. The best news is that my lining is at 8.6!!!!! This excites me b/c last IVF, my lining was 8.9 on the day of the transfer. I'm about a week out from my transfer so I know it will only get thicker! (I have extremely light AFs, so I've always worried that my lining isn't thick enough.) My RE said that 8.9 was a fine level last time, but I've read that some clinics won't even transfer if your lining is less than 9. So, woo hoo! My estrogen is 1149, which is a big increase from a couple days ago when it was 179. I actually have to lessen my F.ollistim dose tonight. I have about 15 follies that are large and several smaller ones that may or may not catch up. I go back on Sunday and hopefully they'll tell me to trigger on Monday. Yay!

Anniversary Weekend

Mr. C and I had a wonderful anniversary trip last weekend to Middleton Place Plantation outside of Charleston, SC. It is a gorgeous plantation on the Ashley River and has an inn on the property. We spent our time swimming, kayaking (we saw 10 alligators!), exploring the plantation, and reading in the hammocks. It was a perfect getaway and I was SO sad to come back home.

The terraced gardens at the plantation:

Our anniversary dinner:

The Inn:

Views around the plantation:

**IVF Update**

There has been so much other "stuff" going on that I haven't posted an update lately! Here's where we are:

June 26 - Suppression check. All is sufficiently suppressed (whatever that means). 9 follies on each side. (Which is coincidentally exactly where I started last IVF and we ended up with 21 eggs, of which 17 fertilized and only 3 embryos were viable by day 3....we're hoping for better quality this time.)

June 28 - Started 250 IUs of F.ollistim. Started 10 IUs of HcG. Started a killer headache. Continuing 10 IUs of Lupron daily.

July 1 - First bloodwork while on stimms....E2 at 179. The nurse said this was "perfect"! Continuing on with meds at same levels. Back for bloodwork/ultrasound on July 4.