Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Yellow Room is Complete! (almost)

First, thank you SO much to all of you for your comments, thoughts, and prayers about my canceled FET. It means a lot to me to have such a wonderful support system. And you all are
right - Mr. C is a wonderful husband!

So the actual yellow room in our house is empty no more! The only thing we're missing is a rug (the one in the photos is just a little throw rug...not permanent) and pictures on the walls, which are in progress. I love the room now because it is bright and sunny and looks so cheerful. It's not depressing to walk by it anymore. It will be an easy transition to a nursery, too. We'll just add a crib and make the bureau into a changing table. Voila!

FET Update: I'm currently on L.upron, or "Loopy-ron" as I like to call it since it makes me a bit loopy. I'm also finishing up my 10 day dose of P.rovera tomorrow and am expecting AF in the next few days. When that happens, I'll start back on the E.strace and V.ivelle patches. Thanks for all the good vibes - I need them!

Here are some yellow room photos:

Friday, January 16, 2009

My FET is cancelled! :( :( :(

Oh, the drama. So my FET was pushed back a week after my monitoring visit last Friday when my lining was only 5.9. I went back today hoping for big numbers and only got a 6.4. Boo. I talked to my acupuncturist today and he assured me that he could work miracles and get me to at least 8 by Wednesday, Jan. 28th, the rescheduled FET date. Anyway, this afternoon my RE called (I knew it was going to be bad news since he was the big man himself and not the nurse). He said that while my lining was on the thin side, it was okay. The big problem is that my P4 rose to 3 today which is not good. Apparently that means I was not sufficiently suppressed and am going to ovulate. Dumb bodily functions! Anyway, he said we'd have to cancel this cycle and try again.

SO, tonight I start a 10 day prescription of P.rovera. Tomorrow I will start L.upron injections. After AF comes (when I stop the Provera) I'll start higher doses of E.strace and V.ivelle patches, as well as acupuncture twice a week. I'm glad we've got a plan. I'm frustrated that I essentially went through a whole cycle without making it to the transfer, but I'm glad we know how to fix the problem and can get right back at it.

Mr. C. is so sweet. He knows that I am disappointed (he is, too) so he planned a trip to Charleston for us tomorrow! (If you read my blog then you know that we LOVE Charleston!) It'll be cold, but a good distraction. Please send good FET vibes my way for this next attempt!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Blogging = New Friends!

Blogging is a great way to vent and to share my feelings, but it's also led to a wonderful new friend for me! Through The Yellow Room, I met a fellow blogger that shares a very similar IF story. Hollie was the first person to ever comment on my blog and we quickly discovered that we had a lot in common! Soon we were emailing and talking on the phone, and for Christmas, Mr. C. gave me a plane ticket to go visit Hollie and her DH! I went this past weekend and stayed at their house. It is so amazing to be able to talk to someone who knows exactly what you are going through. That is the beauty of blogging. We're this community of women who can relate to each other's struggles while supporting and celebrating with each other during the journey. Thank you to everyone for reading my blog and for supporting me along the way. Thanks especially to Hollie and her DH for being wonderful new friends!

(FET Update: I went for my ultrasound last Friday. My lining was only 5.9...too thin to go ahead with our scheduled Jan. 16th transfer. SO, it is postponed for a week. I am now on V.ivelle patches in addition to the E.strace in hopes that things will fluff up. I'm also going to acupuncture twice this week to see if that helps. I haven't been going this cycle, but since my lining was almost twice as thick last IVF and I did go to acupuncture, I now believe in the difference it can make! I have another ultrasound this Friday so I'll report back after it's done.)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Thank you to Chelle over at "Our Life in a Nut Chelle" for this award! I am proud to speak out about infertility and I love my blogging community of fellow girls in the same boat. I think all of the below comments apply to me and to most of's nice to know we are not alone in this struggle.

If you could make a little house from used pee sticks and OPKs.

If you talk in TTC acronyms nobody except people on the internet understand.

If you have ever been stuck with any needles in order to achieve pregnancy.

If you have had to stick yourself, or your husband has had to turn into your nurse in order to do it for you.

If you've ever seen a blank ultrasound screen.

If you know what a dildocam is.

If you have ever gotten shower invites, family photos, or birth announcements in the mail and had a good cry.

If you have watched someone go through an entire cycle of pregnancy in the time it took you to even try (make that 2 or 3 pregnancies!!!).

If you have ever heard "just relax" or "it's not your time" or "it's God's will".

If you dread holidays because you cannot announce a pregnancy to your family.

If you dread holidays because there are no children to share them with.

If you have ever held a baby or child and quietly pretended for a second that they're yours.

If you have ever walked around the store in order to avoid the baby/toddler section.

If you cannot park in the front spots of a store because they are for pregnant and expectant
mothers only.

If you've ever had to go IN the baby/toddler section of a store in order to buy something for someone else's baby.

If you've ever yelled out during watching a movie or tv show about someone who's trying for a baby, "That's SO not realistic!".

If you've ever sat around with a group of women who shared birth stories and labor pains and felt like you didn't fit in.

If you've ever told anyone you are infertile and they're response was, "That sucks. I'm super fertile! I can have all the kids I want!".

If a fertile person ever told you that they would be your surrogate because they have no problem getting pregnant.

If you have ever gotten a shower invite through email while sitting at work trying to forget about TTC.

If you know what an RE is.

If you have ever graphed out your cycle on chart paper.

If you have ever checked to see if your cervical mucus was eggwhite or clear, or could stretch 5 inches between your fingers and you know people in the next stall over are thinking, "WTF is she doing in there?".

If you were disappointed that you couldn't find any.

If you have kept a HPT or OPK in your purse to use when you were at work or out just in case.

If you laugh when people tell you to use pillows under your butt after sex.

If you have picked out crib bedding or nursery decor online and you're not pregnant.

If you have ever felt panic when seeing a pregnant lady.

If you meet the criteria above, or you'd like to submit your own, please post the following award on your blog. This is for all of the women who will no longer be silent about their infertility. This is to remind you that you do not need to be ashamed and you are definitely not alone. This is to remind you to speak up the next time someone gives you fertility assvice. I nominate all my blog readers for this award. We are survivors!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Happy 2009!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I'm so glad it's a new year and I have so much hope that 2009 will be a good year for me. It's a fresh start and I look forward to the good things that will happen this year. It can only be better than 2008, right?

I've been a bad blogger! I really haven't had anything exciting to say, though. On the FET front, I'm taking my Estrac.e and gearing up for a monitoring appointment on Friday. From there, the RE will decide if January 16th is still the big day. Come on, thick lining! This cycle seems incredibly easy compared to a fresh ivf. I'm hardly even thinking about it! My only complaint is that I have massive headaches every night. Not sure what that's all about. I'm trying to not make a big deal out of this FET, to not let it interfere with my everyday life, and to not get my hopes up. Whatever happens, happens, and I will be able to handle it.

On another note, I saw "Marley and Me" last night. **SPOILER ALERT:** The main character has a miscarriage. It was so hard to see them go to the OB and sit on the table for their first ultrasound with all the excitement and anticipation of seeing their baby and the heartbeat, and be disappointed. The baby didn't have a heartbeat. The emotions of that, coupled with the emotions of the dog storyline made it a total sobfest! Great movie, though. Just bring a box of tissues if you go see it.