Monday, August 3, 2009

It Has Begun!

So we're off and running on this 4th IVF attempt. I began stims on Friday after an ultrasound showing 20 resting follicles. I'm on 225 IUs of F.ollistem and 10 IUs of low dose hcg. In a few days I'll begin G.anerelix and S.aizen (growth hormone). I went for my Day 4 bloodwork today and will find out this afternoon if everything is on track so far.

I am feeling so differently about this cycle. I'm not excited, I'm just sort of going through the motions. I guess that's not good, but I just can't handle getting my hopes up. I'm trying to stay calm and not think about it. This will be our last IVF, and I'm more excited about it being over than anything else. I'm ready for this journey to end. After more than 4 years, it's time to move on. If this cycle doesn't work, it will be on to adoption. I'm so, so tired. I'm just ready to be a mother and ready to get on with my life. I do want to give it this one last shot (no pun intended!) though. I have to be able say that I did everything I could to try to have a biological child. Please say a prayer for us and I'll keep you updated and the process continues!

11 comments:

~Hollie said...

the prayers never cease, my friend. I know that tiredness and I wish you nothing but the absolute best in this process.

Peeveme said...

You are in my thought and prayers. It sounds pretty positive...I mean..resting follies are not well understood but I think I only has 3 my last cycle...that failed but you have almost 7 times as many chances!

And I complete get feeling like you are just going through the motions. Especially after taking a break I think it really feels that way.

pumpkinseed said...

I understand what you mean about going through the motions after having multiple cycles, I think we have to put ourselves & our emotions in a safe place in order to get through. Do what you need, feel how you need to feel to keep both your physical and emotional self healthy. Wishing you the best...

Karen said...

Good luck, you are in my prayers this cycle!!! I am sure this is it for you! Hope to see you over SAIF real soon.

Kristin (kekis) said...

I'll be excited and hopeful for you, okay? Good luck -- lots of prayers!

ASHELY said...

I tagged an award for you on my page. Please check it out!

"Jay" said...

I just recently found your blog. I am going to do IVF #2 in a couple of months. Is this the first time you have taken growth hormone? My RE wants to add that to the mix. If you have been on it before, did you notice any side effects?

http://www.babydrought.blogspot.com

Julia said...

I wish you all the stregth for this cycle.

Chelle said...

I know it must be hard for you to go through this cycle. I am hoping this is it for you.

My heart goes out to you, Kelly. Good Luck.

The Kyler said...

You have continued to be in my thoughts and prayers. I know it is hard to go through multiple tries and I pray for peace and comfort for you and your husband during this IVF. I know it is exciting and scary all at the same time and I will continue to be praying for y’all.

Mrs J said...

I've just stumbled across your site and read your posts and your thoughts match us exactly. We are also on our fourth and final cycle. I had two frozen blasto's transferred on Monday, and now the wait to see and the dilemma of whether to take a HPT early.......

We have our fingers crossed for you on your cycle.