Monday, March 2, 2009

The third time is NOT a charm

It's over. Another chemical pregnancy. My beta came back at 42 today. I'm stopping all meds and waiting for AF. I don't know if I can go through this again. Three losses are three too many. I'm in shock right now; not really feeling much of anything but silent dispair. I can't even cry.

28 comments:

Courtney said...

I know there are no words to say. I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you Kelly.

Anonymous said...

So very, very sorry for all this heartache..life really is just not fair..it seems like you would be such wonderful parents....
Again..I am so very, very, very sorry!

Peeveme said...

I am just devastated for you.

Do you think they will be testing you for MTHFR? After this many early losses I think they should.

Again, I am so very sorry.

You will get through his for no other reason than you have to. I;ts still so unfair.

Melanie said...

Yes, three losses is too, too many. I'm so very sorry (which is an amazingly inadequate word). I also think that testing is appropriate, particularly for immune issues as well as full chromosomal testing.

Jennifer said...

I am so sad to read this news...and so very sorry for you. Let the tears flow when you can. And get in for RPL testing (bloodwork - maybe there's a clotting disorder or something else - thyroid?). So sorry honey!

Hollie said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Call/email if you need to talk.

Chelle said...

Oh Kelly. My heart is breaking for you. I wish I could take away your pain. I'm am so very sorry.

Cassandra said...

Oh Kelly, I am so very sorry.

I hope they can figure out why this keeps happening, and then prevent it from ever happening to you again.

Take care.

Craig T. said...

Oh Kelly. We love you. H and C.

Sara Scissors said...

I'm so very sorry again Kelly. Have you ever had any further testing on the reasoning behind this? I ask because I just got a bunch of b/w done today for MTHFR (and a couple other blood cloting disorders) and antibodies that cause our bodies to "attack" embryos. They said both are often a cause for multiple miscarriages. Thought it might be worth looking into...

Either way, please take care of yourself and I wish I could find the right thing to say.

Kahla said...

Oh Kelly, I don't even have words. My heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry.

Karen said...

I am so saddened by this Kelly, I am so sorry.

The Kyler said...

I am so sorry that you have to go through this heartache again. I hope that the pain and sadness eases up over time. I am sad that this didn't work for you. I will be praying for you and your husband.

~Hollie said...

HUGE GASP! I don't know what to say. It just plain out and out sucks. Please let us know how you are doing and know that we are all there hugging you. Meanwhile I will pray for your peace. Lots of love... just so so sad for you.

Kristin (kekis) said...

Oh God Kelly . . . I'm so sorry. You've been so supportive of me, so please let me know if/when I can do the same in return. Prayers are with you guys.

projectkjetil said...

Here from LFCA to say I'm sorry this is happening to you.

What a horrible and sad thing. I wish the best for you, including some really good and cleansing cries.

KC said...

Hello,

I am an MA student at CSM (Central Saint Martins College of Art & Design) in London. And, I am doing my major project: briefly, the concept is to invoke couples’ intimacy or togetherness during IVF treatment in order to reduce the stress from the process. Is it possible for me to ask your comments and suggestions about my three design items via email?
Please reply me if you could do me this huge favor.
Thank you

Best wishes
KC Kao

Email: kchsuan@googlemail.com
Course website: http://www.narrative-environments.com/index.html

~Hollie said...

Kelly,
I noticed on another comment that you said your birthday is next tuesday. Mine is TOO! March 10?
I've been thinking and praying for you but wanted to wish you a happy birthday coming up.

A n T said...

Here from LFCA: (((HUGS))) I know all too well the feeling.

Another Dreamer said...

Here from LFCA... (*HUGS*) I am so sorry for your loss.

Kathy said...

Another one here from LCFA to tell you I am so sorry you are going through this heartache. Many positive thoughts your way...

s.e. said...

Oh, Kelly. We both know there is nothing that will help but time.
No "I'm sorry" or "thinking of you" takes away the pain. But know you are not alone. So many of us out here understand.

Take it a day at a time right now or even hour by hour if needed. You are strong and this will get better.

Photogrl said...

Here from L & F...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

And I know from experience that empty, kicked in the stomach feeling that no words can take away...so I offer you ((HUGS))

Martha said...

Here from L & F, I'm so sorry for you.

Andie said...

Here from LFCA. I am so sorry. Please take care and know that people are thinking of you.

I agree with the other posters about the RPL testing - mine turned up a lot of issues.

Wishing you peace on your journey to healing.

S said...

I'm so damn sorry. It never gets any easier. the numb feeling. the perpetual grief. The feeling that nothing ever goes right. I know from experience that repeated pregnancy "loss" just takes a little chunk of you out each time, transforming you into something else.

I hope that you hang in there. I hope that you and your husband heal. And I'm so sorry that this happened again.

this one said...

Here from LFCA. I am so sorry you are going through this. So many of us know how hard this is, so it's hard to offer consolations that don't seem inadequate. I wish for better times for you soon.

~Hollie said...

Kelly,
Just wondering how you are doing. I'm thinking about cha and praying for you.