Tuesday, March 31, 2009

RPL Panel Results

I just got the call from our nurse. All the tests came back with normal results. I am so upset. I guess I should be thankful that there is nothing wrong, but obviously, SOMETHING is not right with my body. I don't understand how we can go through every test in the book over the last 4 years and have normal results every single time. It can't have been a "fluke" that I've had 3 losses and that I can't get pregnant without IVF.

Maybe I should be looking at this in a more positive light and be thankful that I am healthy. Maybe it should give me more hope, knowing that our tests are normal. I just feel like we're left with so many more questions than answers.

We're meeting with the RE on April 22 (his first available appointment!) and we'll decide on our next steps. I just don't know where to go from here...I'm willing to try one more fresh cycle, but if it ends in another loss; that's it, I can't take anymore. I just feel beaten down.


Chelle said...

Oh Kelly, I am sorry there are no answers for your questions at this point. After all you've been through, I am sure this is really tough on you two.


I hope the next visit with the RE is here in a flash.

~Hollie said...

Kelly, GURL, Big ole fat GIRL HUGS! I can tell you that I've been at the point where I cant breathe in and out anymore. The only thing that helped was time and prayer. I hope you feel all the prayers that are said for you my dear as you go through this time of uncertainty. I pray for your peace and have faith that you will, in time, feel comfortable with a next step. I used to tell people to "keep going" but only you and dh will know what to do. Meanwhile, I hope that you are able to hold on to your dh and can work through this together. (((HUGS)))

Gina said...

I'm so sorry you don't have any answers.

Big hugs to you.

Peeveme said...

I totally know how you feel because I was there a few years ago. Yes, you do have better odds than someone with a diagnosed problem but.....I am of the school of thought that if all is testing "normal" and still no pregnancy or there are m/c's then it's an egg quality issue that has not yet manifested in high FSH.

Assvice coming: If it were me 3 years ago, knowing what I know now....I'd be as aggressive as possible. Especially if you want more than one child.

Sorry to be so blunt but I wish my 1st RE had let me be more aggressive. I wish someone had screamed at me to be more aggressive. I didn't realize what was at stake. I think my 1st RE's conservative approach cost me a genetic child.

Anonymous said...

Kelly- it's a GOOD thing nothing came back abnormal with those tests. I truly believe that IVF takes persistence and endurance. We all know of ppl who have had to do this 3,4, or more times before they finally got a baby. It might just be changing up your medication protocol to make better eggs. Who knows... hopefully your RE can be of help with a new game plan for your next cycle.

G$ said...

I'm sorry I wish there were clear fixable answers for you. This sucks!

I hope your doc has some magic answers for your next cycle.

(here via L&F, but have lurked a bit before, because our empty baby room was the Yellow Room for a long time)

Oh and just a shot in the dark - has the structure of your uterus ever been checked? Recurrent m/c happens a lot in those with uterine septums. I just say this because I had one removed and a lot of ladies in the group had early losses (<10 weeks). Just a thought (with a relatively "easy" fix for the most part)

Hang in there hun.

JuliaS said...

I'm so sorry - I know how frustrating that is. I went through the work-up twice and an HSG and the best they could come up with is endometriosis (that wasn't blocking my tubes or causing any other problems), a possible luteal phase defect/hormonal imbalance problem which they gave me progesterone for "just in case", baby aspirin for possible immune issues and a course of antibiotics for dh and I each year we were ttc for lack of anything else definite to do. Sometimes it seemed to work - other times I still miscarried.

Aggravating. On one hand - you want something definite so you know what to address/fix; on the other, it's a relief to know there isn't anything unusual. Either way though - you are still in the same boat, with no answers.

Sending you good wishes for the visit with the RE.

Here from LFCA

nishkanu said...

Here from LFCA.

I was going to say "I know how you feel" because I too was very disappointed when my RPL tests all came back negative. "Nothing wrong with you?" Well, or else it's just that they can't test for it and will never know. That's an awful feeling. I was literally in tears when my last test came in normal. The RE looked a bit confused, but man I wanted something to fix.

Then I looked at your history. You've gotten pregnant, then miscarried, on every IVF cycle. Oh man. That is a nightmare. As weird as it is, I now realize that buffering the miscarriages with some BFNs is much more humane than continually having to deal with miscarriages. I'm really sorry you have had to go through this.

Peeveme said...

I have a question...have they tested for the MTHFR?

S said...

Its always so damn frustrating to have no answers - we were either dismissed with "not enough to test, probably chromosomal" or "no conclusive result" and we finally got our answers via PGD where we discovered we create 1 normal embryo for every 4 embryos. It was a bummer and a crappy statistic... but it explains my 5 first trimester miscarriages.

I'm hoping that your appt on the 22nd goes well and the RE has some answers of some sort for you, even if it is a change of protocol or whatever!

Kahla said...

Hoping you had a good appointment and sending lots of hugs for your recent due date.