Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Thoughts on our twisty turny journey to turn our empty yellow room into a nursery.
About Me
- Kelly
- The South, United States
- I'm a 33 year old southern girl who has been TTC since June 2005. After 2 IUIs, 3 miscarriages, and 4 IVFs, we've finally turned our empty yellow room into a nursery.
Our Journey So Far
- May 12, 2010 - Our beautiful daughter is born!
- September 17, 2009 - Saw baby's heartbeat
- August 27, 2009 - 1st Beta...BFP!
- August 18, 2009 - Transferred 2 Grade 4AA blastocysts
- August 13, 2009 - Egg Retrieval (24 Eggs)
- August 1, 2009 - Started stims for IVF #3
- March 8, 2009 - RPL Panel drawn, all normal except Factor V Leiden
- March 2, 2009 - 2nd Beta in at 42; another c/p
- February 27, 2009 - 1st Beta in at 67
- February 18, 2009 - FET - Transferred 2 beautiful blasts
- January 17, 2009 - Started L.upron injections to prepare for next FET cycle
- January 16, 2009 - FET cancelled due to elevated P4
- December 4, 2008 - Started BCPs for FET
- August 22, 2008 - D&C surgery
- August 13, 2008 - 7 week ultrasound; missed miscarriage, Beta 20,000
- July 23, 2008 - 1st Beta...BFP!
- July 14, 2008 - Transferred two grade A blastocysts
- July 9, 2008 - Egg Retrieval (22 eggs)
- June 28, 2008 - Started Follistim and low dose HcG
- June 12, 2008 - Started Lupron
- May 2008 - Preparing for IVF #2
- April 2008 - Miscarriage
- March 2008 - IVF #1 - BFP!
- May 2007 - IUI #2 with injectibles- BFN
- March 2007 - IUI #1with injectibles - BFN
- August 06-January 07 - Began IF testing and made straight A's!
- June 2006 - Houston, we have a problem!
- June 2005 - Threw out the BCPs
"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, live like there is no tomorrow, dance like no one is watching."
4 comments:
Welcome to blog land, and thank you for visiting MY blog! I totally understand how you feel about having an empty room in the house ready to fill with a child. Me and dh moved into our home 2 years ago, with 3 extra bedrooms that I thought for sure would be filled with a few kids pretty soon. Unfortunately, they are still a computer room and 2 guest bedrooms.
Will you be starting a 2nd cycle of IVF any time soon? We will be starting IVF #2 in July (BCPs in June). It has been 2+ years of hope, despair, excitement, sadness, etc.
I'll be checking back on your blog, so keep updating! Good luck to you!
@Anonymous, May 28, 2008 at 6:10 PM
Fuck off
Owner of this blog = a loser...
Dear barren women,
Accept the fact that children are a privilege, and remind yourself that many people live happy and fulfilling lives without parenthood.
You have the necessary alternatives, like adoption, to fulfil the desire, and your mental frustration can be resolved if you rid yourself of your toxic feelings of entitlement. You can be happy without children, but not if you’ve convinced yourself that you were meant to have them. Human beings can adjust to unbelievable hardships, as long as they accept that life doesn’t owe them anything.
Not having children is a very minor problem compared to what some people endure, and the fact that it requires the creation of another person without their consent should be adequate proof that it isn’t a right. Yet by identifying as “infertile” you’ve chosen to align yourself with a group of women who view parenthood as a human right. Saying that you are “desperate” for a baby sends the same message, as though a baby was a basic human entitlement like food.
The maternal instincts of humans are strong, but they are not outside of your control. You can satisfy your desire for parenthood and nurturing by adopting, just like everyone else who finds themselves infertile at the time. It is only to be expected that you’ll have moments when you long for a biological child, but you decide if you will allow yourself to wallow in your longing or if you will focus on finding more productive ways to spend your time.
If you are truly depressed then it isn’t because you are infertile, but the belief that you are being denied something that you are entitled to could contribute to your problems. It’s not infertility in itself that will hurt your emotional health, it’s the way you think about parenthood. A lot of the same women who identify as "involuntary childless" are the same ones who define femininity by motherhood, and with that attitude, not having children begins to equal not being a woman – and that idea could contribute to a crisis.
I want to make one thing absolutely clear: If you believe that you are suffering from depression, you need to seek help from a professional. If you used the word “depressed” more colloquially to say that you feel sad and unhappy, you may still want to discuss your feelings with a therapist, but sadness and frustration would be a normal response to being robbed of something that you view as a human right. That is obviously not what is happening to you, but emotionally you will respond to events as you experience them as opposed to how to they really took place.
Infertiles often talk about discrimination and stigma. Natural selection declares that not every single individual is supposed to reproduce. Infertiles do not want to accept this, so they choose to believe that women are being denied something in an act of discrimination. Being the victim of discrimination multiple times a day, being denied something that you are entitled to, and watching as everyone else but you experiences what you want would be extremely upsetting. That’s not what’s going on though, so happiness can be found by shedding your voluntary delusions.
You are not entitled to children, you don’t deserve to create and own a living creature, and the fact that nature itself has declared this speaks volumes to that. You do not need children, and you can be happy without them.
Post a Comment